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Sam and Max Vs. Nick and Hopps
Sam and Max Vs. Nick and Hopps is Episode 45 of Desert Croc's One Minute Melees. Here, we see Sam and Max from the eponymous series battle it out against Nick and Hopps from the animated Disney film Zootopia. Description It's a battle of animals. No, wait, it's a battle of police. Actually, it's a fight between duos! Or maybe it's all of them! Interlude 2 FIGHTERS 60 SECONDS 1 VICTOR ONE MINUTE MELEE Fight New York City The streets of New York City were as busy as always. Everything was perfectly normal, for a while. A DeSoto sped around the corner. It weaved through the busy streets and showed now signs of slowing down. The driver of the car was a dog in a suit wearing a hat. His partner was positioned opposite of him. He was a small white bunny with large teeth. They were the Freelance Police, Sam and Max. "Looks like we've got quite a case on our hands!" Sam said. "Are you excited little buddy?" "I sure am!" Max replied. "The lack of criminal activity lately has given me a bad case of boredom!" "Well don't worry, we're almost at the scene! Feel like taking a shortcut?" "Of course! I thought you would know me by now Sam!" "Then hang on!" The car was travelling across a small bridge. Without hesitation, Sam spun the steering wheel and swerved off the bridge. The car landed on another bridge. However, this one was not meant for cars, it was meant for trains. "I always love doing this!" Max exclaimed as he stood up with his arms out. A moment later, a train appeared behind them. "I guess this will be the part where we make way!" Sam drove the car off the bridge and landed safely on the road below before the train hit them. "It seems we are roughly 300 meters away from our destination!" Sam said "Yeah! I'm ready to...umm...Sam, do hear that?" "Hear what little buddy?" Max pointed behind him. "That!" Sam focused on his hearing senses and his ears picked up what he made out to be a police siren. "That can't be what I think it is!" He looked behind him to see a police car in pursuit. "We've never been pulled over before for this!" He said to himself. "Why now?" "I don't know," Max replied "But they've got some nerve!" "Let's just stop the car for now. We're policeman too, remember? I'm sure we can reason with them!" "Good idea Sam!" Sam parked the car on the side of the road. The pursuing car stopped behind them and one of its doors opened. "Alright mister," Sam muttered, "We...err...is there anyone here? Do you see anyone Max?" "Maybe it's a ghoooost!" "You crack me up little buddy!" Suddenly, a female voice was heard. "I shall be fining you for speeding and reckless driving. Are you even aware of how dangerous your driving is?" "Hey Sam, it's a girl! Too bad we can't see her though. I bet she looks hot!" "Sorry Miss Ghost, but there's two things. The first one is that I have done this many times before and the other one is that we have done plenty of far more dangerous things." "Yeah! You need to go back to scaring robbers. We've got more important things to do!" "Wait, so these two are the famous Freelance Police? What a joke!" Sam and Max both turned around to see Nick Wilde leaning against their car. "Who are you?" Max questioned. "Are you working with the ghost?" "These two cannot be serious." "Hey! We're always serious when it comes to ghosts!" "Do I look dead to you?" Judy Hopps jumped on the front of the car, taking Sam and Max by surprise. "Hey!" Max said. "I thought I was the only rabbit in the police department!" Sam stroked his chin. "I think I've heard of you two. Aren't you new here?" "Yeah," Nick replied, "And I don't think we're very impressed with this city's veterans. "I'm still going to fine you," Hopps said, "I really hope you learn from this!" "Oh darn!" Sam exclaimed. "Now I won't be able to buy any fudge pops until our next paycheck!" "No!" Max yelled, whipping out a Luger Pistol somewhere. "We are not being fined because I say so!" "Where did you..." "That's none of your damn business!" "Well," Nick sighed, "I guess we have no choice but to arrest you!" "But I won't get any fudge pops in prison!" "It looks to me like you've had enough ice cream, chubby!" "What did you..." Sam stepped out of the car. Max followed him. "What are you planning Sam?" "These two have gone too far! Trying to arrest us and making fun of my weight! What do you say we show them how a real cop does things?" "Sounds good to me!" Hopps shook her head. "Are we going to be like them one day?" "Not a chance!" Nick replied. "Let's just knock some sense into these two for now!" FIGHT! Part 1 Sam aimed his gun and fired. The shot missed. "Darn it! That was my last bullet on this magazine!" "Sam! You need to get your aim right!" "Let me try that again!" As Sam began to reload, Nick approached the two. "Alright, I'm afraid..." "Hey!" Max yelled. "Stay back!" He fired his gun multiple times at Nick. The first shot barely missed his foot. He would have been hit by the following shots, but fortunately, Hopps pulled him behind the car just in time. "What are you doing? You could have been killed!" "How else are we supposed to take them out?" "I might have a plan..." Meanwhile, Sam finished loading his gun and was ready to start firing again. "Hey Max, did you see where they went?" "Of course Sam! They're hiding behind the car!" "They really don't have anywhere to run, do they?" They both searched the back of the car, only to find nothing. "Are you lying to me Max?" Max hopped onto the boot and looked underneath the car. "No! I saw them hide there!" "We'll just have to keep lo..." Sam was interrupted by the boot of the car opening and hitting him in the nose, knocking him to the ground. Max was sent flying away. Nick and Hopps both emerged from it. "Hey!" Sam yelled. "You tricked us!" "What?" Nick replied, "You think we're just going to let us shoot you?" Sam suddenly started looking around. "Where's Max?" He growled. "Hey Sam! A little help?" The three turned around to see Max being chased by a triangle floating in the air. "Umm Max, is that a Bermuda Triangle?" "Hey!" Nick shouted. "Just what is that th..." "Move it!" Max crashed into Nick and they fell down. The triangle caught up with them and swallowed them both. Sam and Hopps both cried out in shock. "I'm getting Max back!" Sam yelled as he jumped through the triangle "Don't get in my way!" "Are you kidding!?" Hopps replied as she followed. "You think I'm just going to leave Nick in there?" The scenery of the battle shifted. Part 2 Snowdin Papyrus was patrolling the area when he discovered the four combatants getting out of the snow. "EXCUSE ME FELLOW MONSTERS, DID YOU SEE A HUMAN GO BY HERE?" Nick and Hopps were lost for words. "Hey look Sam! It's a talking skeleton!" Max exclaimed. "We meet a lot of strange creatures on our adventures!" "CUT THE ACT! IF I WANT TO GET INTO THE ROYAL GUARD, I'VE GOT TO CATCH THAT HUMAN!" "Shut it, bonehead!" Max punched Papyrus, sending him flying and slamming against a tree. He was out cold. "That takes care of him!" Sam muttered. "We've yet to take care of you though!" Sam and Max turned around to see Nick and Hopps ready to engage in combat. "You two don't have your guns anymore! Let's just settle this the old fashioned way!" "Alright then. Get ready, Max!" "Ooh! I can't wait!" Max made a dash towards Hopps and tried to punch her, but she jumped out of the way. Max threw another punch but Hopps also dodged it. Max threw a few more punches, all of which were dodged once again. Once Max was tired out, Hopps kicked him in the face, sending him sliding on his back across a frozen lake. "Hey!" Sam shouted. He tried to help Max but Nick got in the way. "You'll be dealing with me!" "Then let's see what you've got!" Sam proceeded to attack his opponent but Nick was quicker. He moved in and swiped at Sam multiple times, who managed to block all the attacks with his arms. Sam jumped back to get some distance and came up with a great idea. He pulled out his tear gas grenade launcher and fired an onion (yes) at Nick, who got hit in the head by it. "Ugh! Was that an onion? I'll..I'll *sniff* what's going *sniff* on?" Nick began crying uncontrollably. Sam was given the chance to move in and do some damage, and he did just that. He punched Nick twice in the stomach and performed an uppercut, knocking him to the ground. Nick did his best to get up, but he was drowned in tears instead. Sam picked up Nick by his shirt and threw him into a pile of snow. "That should get rid of him for a while! Now I need to rescue Max! Meanwhile, Max did his best to make it off the ice, but he was having no luck against Hopps, who was agile enough to avoid all of his attacks. "Why won't you just stay still?" "Because I don't feel like it!" Sam slid across the ground with his foot out, hoping to hit Hopps, but she jumped up and came back down on top of Max, who was now pinned down. "Now I just need to deal with...hey! Sam grabbed Hopps by the arms and held her up. "Now, little buddy! Now's your chance to finish her!" "Oh I am going to enjoy this!" Max put on his boxing glove and approached Hopps. As he prepared the attack, Hopps kicked Sam in the stomach, causing him to loosen his grip. She then broke free and jumped away from Sam. "Get back h...OOF!" Sam was interrupted by Max punching him with his glove. He flew away and landed next to Nick. "Sam!" Max ran towards his partner. "Hey!" Hopps said as she pursed him. "I'm not finished with you yet!" As this was going on. Sans was taking a stroll when he noticed Papyrus knocked out against a tree. "papyrus, bro, are you ok?" Sans ran over to his brother and helped him up. "who did this to you? i won't let them get away with this!" Papyrus pointed to the combatants, who were aiding their fallen partners. "IT WAS THEM!" After hearing this, Sans' right eye disappeared and his left eye turned blue. He approached the combatants slowly. "Hey!" Max shouted, "Here's another skeleton!" Nick and Hopps were speechless. "so you are the ones who hurt my brother!" "What? You mean that paladin wannabe? Who cares what happens to him!" "enough! i'll make you all pay!" Sans summoned his Gaster Blasters. He fired them at the four, who were sent through the are upon impact and flew into another Bermuda Triangle. Part 3 Z-City The four combatants fell onto the side of a street. "Hey Sam, where are all those triangles coming from?" "I don't know, we..." "What is that!?" Hopps shouted. A large beast appeared around the corner and got ready to pounce on them. "JUSTICE CRASH!" Mumen Rider jumped off his bike and sent it flying at the beast. It had no effect. "Really?" Nick said. "Some hero you are!" "You all need to get out of here! I'll keep this monster occupied!" He then proceeded to fight it. "Come one!" Nick cried. "Let's take his bike and get to safety!" "Sound good!" Sam replied. "I wasn't talking to you!" Nick got on the bike. Hopps jumped on his back and they left the area. "I really wish we had our car Sam!" Suddenly, the DeSoto drove out of a portal and stopped in front of them. Their guns were lying on their seats. "Max, do you remember that time in the past when we had to assist our future selves?" "Wait, you mean our past selves are still watching out for us? I thought it was over after the pit!" "We don't have time to dwell on that now! We need to get moving!" The two jumped into the car and chased after their opponents right after Mumen Rider was knocked out effortlessly by the beast. After driving for a few minutes, they managed to catch up to Nick and Hopps. "Alright Max! You take the wheel! I'm going to take some shots!" "Do your best Sam!" The two switched positions. While Max was now driving, Sam leaned out of the side of the car, aimed his gun and took a shot. "Darn! Missed! Meanwhile, Hopps had just noticed that she and Nick were being pursued by Sam and Max. "Nick! We've got to do something! They're firing at us!" "What do you want me to do?" "Try and lose them!" Sam continued firing but was having trouble as his targets were now moving left and right. "This is going to be harder than I thought." He then noticed that they were about to pass a gas station. "I know what to do!" When the time was right, Sam fired at the station. It created an explosion that threw Nick and Hopps off the bike, causing them to tumble across the ground. "You did it Sam! Now let's finish them!" Max parked the car and the two exited the vehicle. They approached Nick and Hopps, who were still struggling to get up. "It looks like it's game over for you two!" Sam said. Sam and Max aimed their guns but before they could fire, the beast from earlier pounced on them. Their guns were knocked out of their hands and they broke as they hit the ground. "Sam, this is not looking good!" "How will we get out of this mess little buddy?" "I know! HELP! HELP! SOMEONE SAVE US!" Nick sighed. "Great. Now after that thing is finished with them, it's going to come after us! We're dead!" "I'll take care of this." "What?" Nick and Hopps looked up to see Genos standing still. "That so-called hero from before could't take care of that! What could you possibly do?" Genos didn't respond. He immediately dashed forward and performed a Rocket Punch, sending the beast flying away. "Does that answer your question?" Hopps asked "Hey, Sam! My idea worked! Can I get your autograph, savior?" "There's not time. That monster is still alive. I must finish it off." After that, he used his boosters to propel himself away. "Now, where were...oh." Sam and Max both noticed their guns had been destroyed. "Well, looks like it's time for another brawl, eh Sam?" "I guess so!" "Well, I'm ready!" Max ran and leapt at Nick, who was taken by surprise. "What the?" Max was on top of Nick, furiously attacking him. "Nick!" Hopps cried. "I don't think you'll be going anywhere!" Sam said as he grabbed Hopps by her ears and threw her aside. Max was still thrashing at Nick when he was kicked off. "You dumb bunny!" "Hey! Who are you calling dumb?" "You! You're the dumbest person I've ever met!" "That's it! I'm coming for you!" Max leapt at Nick again and kicked him in the face, knocking him to the ground. He got on top of Nick and tried to attack some more, but Nick grabbed him by the arms and threw him off. "That's it! I've had enough!" Max equipped his boxing glove and tried to punch Nick, but Nick was agile enough to duck under all of the hooks. As soon as he saw the chance, Nick sprung at Max and pinned him to the ground. He then begun biting him for a while before throwing him away from the mouth. "That...hurt!" "You better stay down, or I'll hurt you even more!" Meanwhile, Hopps had just got off the ground, only to be greeted by Sam. "Don't make this any harder then it is. You can't beat someone as big as me." "You think so?" Sam attempted to kick Hopps but she rolled out of the way. He then tried to grab her a few times but he was unsuccessful. Failing this, he tried throwing some punches, but Hopps dodged each one of them. "You are pretty fast, but dodging isn't enough to beat me!" "Are you implying I can't fight?" Hopps threw another punch. This time, Hopps jumped over Sam. As Sam turned around, she leapt forward and kicked him in the gut. The impact knocked him into a nearby wall. "That'll teach you to underestimate me!" Hopps moved in for the kill, but as soon as he did, Sam pulled out his banjo and smashed it across her face. She tumbled across the ground and couldn't get up. "I've got you at last!" "You're not hurting her anymore!" Nick threw a punch at Sam, which he managed to catch. "Then I'll hurt you for injuring my buddy!" "Sam! You know that elder god spawn we kept as souvenir? Consuming it really helped me regain my strength!" There was silence. "Max! What did you say you just did?" "I'm fine Sam! I'm...fine?" Max's body began to swell up and he increased in size until he was transformed into an eldritch monstrosity. "MAX!" "What the heck is that thing!?" Max roared was about to pound the remaining combatants but his fist was blocked by an unknown force. Max was then pushed back, revealing a bald, caped man standing beneath him. "Who are you?" Nick asked. The man smiled. "I'm just a guy who's a hero for fun." "...Excuse me?" "Look out!" Sam cried. Max was enraged and was now ready to attack again. "Don't worry," Saitama said, "This will all be over very shortly." "What do you mean by that?" Sam replied. "Also, be prepared. This is going to be quite a blast." Max was now bringing his foot down. Nick grabbed Hopps off the ground while Sam held onto his hat. Saitama stood still "What are you doing?" Nick yelled. "He's going to crush you!" Saitama was silent. He threw a punch. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! Max exploded it a bloody mess. The explosion sent Sam, Nick and Hopps flying through the air. "MAX! NO!" The three passed through another Bermuda Triangle. Part 4 Hell The combatants landed on a rocky surface. As they got up, they saw that the landscape contained lakes of lava and a fiery sky. "OK, just where are we now?" Nick asked. "You're in hell!" They then saw Max standing a few meters away. "Max! You didn't die after all!" "Actually, I did. I was just sent here after my death." "Wait," Hopps said, "You mean this is the afterlife?" "I can't believe this." Nick complained. "We're stuck in the land of the dead and it's all your fault!" "Our fault?" Max replied. "We didn't make that Bermuda Triangle appear!" "Well if you hadn't started a fight, none of this would have happened! Let's settle this once and for all!" "It's on!" Nick ran at Max at swiped at him, but Max dodged the attack and kicked him in the face. While he was on the ground, Max started strangling him, but Hopps kicked him away soon after. "Keep your hands off him!" Max landed next to Sam, who picked him up and threw him at Hopps. Max punched Hopps in the face and she skidded back. Max was about to approach Hopps but Nick grabbed him by the legs and threw him at Sam, who got hit in the stomach by his head. They both fell down. "This is where it ends!" Nick yelled. "Never!" Max replied. "Hey, look fellas! Some newbies are starting up a fight! What do you say we up the ante a bit?" "This is pitiful! You can count me out!" The four looked to the right and saw a group of residents. They were Bill Cipher, Frieza, Dio Brando, Scorpion, Jason Voorees and Roman Torchwick. "They are weaklings!" Frieza said with disgust. "Watching them fight won't be entertaining at all!" "I very much agree," Scorpion replied. "Come on guys!" Bill exclaimed. "You'll be surprised at what I can do!" "Can you stop time?" Dio asked, "If not, your abilities cannot be impressive!" "Yeah!" Roman cried. "What can a flying yellow triangle do?" "Oh that's how you want it huh? I'll show you!" Bill made a gesture with his hand. The ground started shaking beneath the combatants and a large chunk of the earth they were standing on rose into the air. "Sam, what are these guys doing?" "I don't know little buddy. We'll just have to wait and see!" Bill then turned to Jason. "Hockey Psycho! I'll need to borrow some of your weapons!" He made another gesture and four weapons appeared floating in the air beside him. They were a machete, an axe, a dagger and a harpoon gun. They then hovered above the arena. "Sorry, you can't choose! Now fight! Let's do this gladiator style!" The weapons landed next to the combatants. Sam got the axe, Max got the harpoon gun, Nick got the machete and Hopps got the dagger. "Yay!" Max cried with joy. "Now things just got a lot more fun!" "Nick, I don't think this is how we should end things..." "JUST FIGHT ALREADY!" Sam lunged forward and swung his axe at Nick, who blocked it with his Machete. Sam continued to push the axe down while Nick did his best to prevent it from touching him. Max tried to assist Sam by firing a harpoon at Nick, but Hopps slashed it out of the air with her dagger. Nick had now pushed Sam away and the two were engaging in a duel with their weapons. "You interrupted my shot!" Max yelled. "Why don't you have some!" He began firing some harpoons at Hopps, who avoided getting hit by dodging or hitting them out of the air. As she got close, she stabbed Max in the arm with the dagger. Max took a few steps back while clutching his wound and fell off the arena. Sam noticed this while fighting. "YOU VERMIN! YOU KILLED MAX!" He kicked Nick away and whacked Hopps across the head with the blunt side of his axe. Hopps was sent flying off the side. "NO!" Nick cried. The two remaining combatants turned to face each other. "It looks like this really is the end." Nick said. "I'm not losing to you murderers any time soon!" "You hypocrite! You just killed my partner!" "It was to avenge mine! Now die!" Sam and Nick ran at each other and their weapons clashed. They were both knocked back and were dazed. Sam managed to recover first and dashed forward. He grabbed Nick by the throat and held him over the edge. "See you in hell!" "...Aren't we already in Hell?" There was silence. Sam facepalmed. "I'm such an idiot!" "You really are!" Sam only just realized that he had let go of Nick after performing the facepalm. Nick tossed him over the edge of the arena but Sam held onto the side. "I can't believe I let Max down!" Nick crouched. "See you beyond hell!" "I REFUSE!" Sam grabbed Nick by his tie and pulled him off the arena. He clung onto his leg and the two were left dangling above a stream of lava. "I can't pull myself up!" Sam said. And he let go. ...and everything went black. Part 5 One Minute Melee Fanon Wiki When he came too, Sam found himself lying next to Max. "Max? Is that you? You're still alive!" "Of course!" "But how?" "Another Berumuda Triangle." Nick was also relieved that Hopps was still alive, but was also wondering about something else. "Just where on Earth are we anyway?" They were standing on a dark blue floor. The sky was also dark blue, but a bit lighter in color. "You know Sam, this reminds me when we traveled back to the beginning of space and time." "Wait, so now we're not in hell anymore, but we are in the the realm where reality doesn't even exist?" Nick was now furious. "I've had it with this adventure. I JUST WISH THINGS WERE BACK THE WAY THEY WERE! "Ouch!" Sam cried out in pain "What the hell! Stop throwing giant blocks of text at me!" "I'm no...ow! Hey! Why don't you stop it as well then!" Hopps then noticed something. "Everyone! Look out for the giant words!" They then started dodging the words they, then, started, dodging, the and words. "What is wrong with this place, Sam?" "Don't ask me little buddy! I'm just as clueless as you!" "It doesn't matter! I'm still going to get those two back for putting us into this mess!" Max hopped on the text blocks and performed a leaping punch at Nick, but Hopps kicked one of the words at him, sending him flying back. Max got to his feet and collected a few words and started hurling them at Nick and Hopps. Sam did the same. Nick and Hopps were frantically dodging words when Hopps came up with an idea. "Let's use the words as shields!" They both grabbed a word and used them to block the words thrown by Sam and Max. Once the Freelance Police ran out of words to throw, Nick and Hopps moved forward and used the words they were holding as melee weapons. Sam and Max did their best to either dodge or block the attacks, but they still got hurt in the process. "Ouch! Cut it out you two!" "In your dreams!" Nick hit Max with his word so hard it sent him flying through a hidden wall. The three combatants were shocked and went to investigate. "...Damn! Why is this happening! It shouldn't be possible!" A mysterious figure was fiddling on a computer when Max burst through his room. "What is going on here?" Sam, Nick and Hopps later entered the room, only to find the figure holding Max up by his face. "This isn't comfortable you know!" "Shut up, you psycho rabbit! You shouldn't be here! Therefore, I must exterminate you!" There was a sudden burst from the figure's hand and Max was vaporized. The remaining combatants gasped. "YOU FIEND!" Sam walked up and grabbed the figure by his shirt. "Start talking. Who are you and what is this place?" The figure laughed. "You won't ever find out." The figure poked Sam and he too was vaporized. "Nick, I'm scarred!" "Hey! What's going on. The figure turned to Nick and Hopps. "I am the one who made these events happen. I am the one who summoned the Bermuda Triangles. You were not supposed to discover this place. This match was supposed to end in a tie, but since I'm feeling generous, I've decided to give it a winner. Those winners are you two. "What are you talking about?" Nick shouted "That's none of your concern. Your opponents have gone back to their normal lives and you too will soon. Before that, It's time to congratulate our winners!" "What?" Nick and Hopps suddenly disappeared and reappeared on a podium. Hopps sighed. "Let's just go along with this." Results THIS MELEE'S WINNERS ARE... (Cue theme) Bonus Scene "Well, that was my longest battle to date. It was more of an adventure though. I wonder if it can even be counted as a One Minute Melee?" The figure stroked his chin. "I fear there may be someone out there who may be against me, someone who may be powerful enough to take me on in a fight. I don't know. Maybe I'm thinking too hard about this." He went back to his computer "Let's see who I shall do next...Vergil from the Devil May Cry verse...I'll put him up against Sesshōmaru from the InuYasha verse. All set. Now it's time to prepare for the next battle, but before that, I think this battle needs something to round things up!" Starring *Sam (Sam and Max) *Max (Sam and Max) *Nick Wilde (Zootopia) *Judy Hopps (Zootopia) *Papyrus (Undertale) *Sans (Undertale) *Mumen Rider (One Punch Man) *Genos (One Punch Man) *Saitama (One Punch Man) *Bill Cipher (Gravity Falls) *Frieza (Dragon Ball Z) *Dio Brando (Jojo's Bizarre Adventure) *Scorpion (Mortal Kombat) *Jason Voorhees (Friday the 13th) *Roman Torchwick (RWBY) *??? ...To be concluded? Category:What-If? One Minute Melees Category:Desert Croc Category:Movie vs Video Game themed One Minute Melee Category:'Animals' themed One Minute Melees Category:Fights that last over a minute Category:Completed What-If? One Minute Melees